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101 Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

Happy Halloween! We dare you not to scream with laughter when you read these funny Halloween jokes by Scout Life readers. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send in your joke.

Laugh at 4,000+ more funny jokes at jokes.scoutlife.org!


DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!

Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great Halloween jokes!
Download the joke book (PDF)
Folding instructions


halloween-1

Joe: What do you call wood when it’s scared?
Bob: I don’t know.
Joe: Petrified!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Lincoln, Neb.
Comic by Daryll Collins


Daniel: What do you do when zombies surround your house?
Sam: What?
Daniel: Hope it’s Halloween.
Joke submitted by Daniel R., Boerne, Texas


Comic by Scott Nickel


Keenan: What happens when a mummy gets a cold?
John: I have no clue.
Keenan: It starts coffin!
Joke submitted by Keenan N., Williamstown, Kentucky


Lucas: Where do the baby ghost go?
Jeff: I’m stumped.
Lucas: Day scare!
Joke submitted by Lucas Z., Evans, Ga.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Ayn: What does a turkey dress up as for Halloween?
Samantha: I don’t know. What?
Ayn: A gobblin’!
Joke submitted by Ayn A., Pittsburgh, Pa.


Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Joke submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Jenna: What did the vampire say to the ghost at the Halloween party?
Brenna: What?
Jenna: “Come on! Why don’t you live a little?”
Joke submitted by Jenna C., Columbia, Mo.


Thomas: How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern?
George: I have no clue.
Thomas: With a pumpkin patch.
Joke submitted by Thomas W., Shreveport, La.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Arlene: What kind of dessert do ghosts like?
Alice: What?
Arlene: I scream!
Joke submitted by Arlene A., Selma, Calif.


A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Joke submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Tanay: Knock, knock.
Dad: Who’s there?
Tanay: Boo.
Dad: Boo, who?
Tanay: Why are you crying?!
Joke submitted by Tanay G., Chantilly, Virginia


Bert: What did the ghost wear to the dance?
Sam: I have no clue.
Bert: Booooots.
Joke submitted by Bert Y., Corpus Christi, Tex.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Danny: Why didn’t the ghost go to the Halloween party?
Cody: I haven’t the foggiest.
Danny: He was afraid he was going to be booed.
Joke submitted by Danny V., Camarillo, Calif.


Brett: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Joke submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio


Comic by Scott Nickel


Spencer: What plants like Halloween the most?
Tanner: Which ones?
Spencer: Bam-BOO!
Joke submitted by Tanner S., Tampa, Fla.


Micah: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin from your roof?
Cameron: What?
Micah: Squash!
Joke submitted by Micah T., Abbeville, S.C.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Yashaswi: What’s the witch’s best subject?
Amy: I haven’t the foggiest.
Yashaswi: Spelling!
Joke submitted by Yashaswi S., Fredericksburg, Va.


Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Joke submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.


halloween-1

Comic by Daryll Collins


Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Joke submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.


Barbara: What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Cindy: I don’t know.
Barbara: Boo jeans!
Joke submitted by Barbara M., Simpsonville, S.C.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Christopher: What did Superman say to Batman when he invited him to the graveyard on Halloween night?
Daniel: I don’t know.
Christopher: “Sorry, I can’t go into the kryptonite.”
Joke submitted by Christopher S., Chesapeake, Va.


Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Joke submitted by Maxwell C.


Comic by Scott Nickel


John: Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?
Mark: Why?
John: He didn’t have the stomach for it!
Joke submitted by John C., Houston, Texas


Aiden: Where do ghosts make their movies?
Bob: I don’t know.
Aiden: At Univer-soul Studios.
Joke submitted by Aiden W., Granite City, Ill.


comic-1

Comic by Scott Nickel


Erick: Where do ghosts like to swim?
Carl: I don’t know. Tell me.
Erick: The Dead Sea.
Joke submitted by Erick O., National City, Calif.


Sam: What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
Frank: I don’t know.
Sam: The “grim sweeper.”
Joke submitted by Sam M., Pittsburgh, Pa.


Comic by Thomastoons


Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch on Halloween?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Joke submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.


Luke: What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?
Jen: I have no clue.
Luke: Broommates!
Joke submitted by Luke B., Kenosha, Wis.


halloween-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Brenda: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
Bianca: Where?
Brenda: At the casketeria.
Joke submitted by Brenda D., Elmira, N.Y.


Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Joke submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Joke submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.


Darius: What part of the street do vampires live on?
Chad: I don’t know.
Darius: The dead end.
Joke submitted by Darius C., Columbia, Md.


comic-2

Comic by Scott Nickel


Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Joke submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.


Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Joke submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.


halloween-3

Comic by Scott Nickel


Rich: Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Mitch: Tell me.
Rich: Because people are dying to get in!
Joke submitted by Richard D., Granville, Ohio


Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Joke submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Joke submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.


Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween?
Connor: Beats me.
Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”
Joke submitted by Gavin H., Stoughton, Mass.


comic-3

Comic by Thomastoons


Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Joke submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio


Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Joke submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.


halloween-4

Comic by Jon Carter


Kirk: Why do mummies have no friends?
Mike: Why
Kirk: Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves!
Joke submitted by Kirk J., Bothell, Wash.


Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Joke submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Joke submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.


Stephen: What did the ghost say when the skeleton lied to him?
David: I haven’t a clue.
Stephen: “I can see right through you.”
Joke submitted by Stephen S., Knoxville, Tenn.


halloween-5

Comic by Scott Nickel


A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Joke submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.


Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Joke submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.


halloween-6

Comic by Scott Nickel


Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.


Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks for Halloween?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Joke submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.


halloween-7

Comic by Scott Nickel


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Joke submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.


Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Joke submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Steve: What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter?
Paul: What?
Steve: Pumpkin-pi!
Joke submitted by Steve H., Sagamore Hills, Ohio


Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Joke submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.


Comic by ThomasToons


Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Joke submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.


Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Joke submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Joke submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.


A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Joke submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.


Comic by Scott Masear


Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Joke submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.


Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Joke submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Joke submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.


Todd: What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
Leanne: What?
Todd: The xylabone.
Joke submitted by Todd F., Indianapolis, Ind.


Ben: What do you call a kind and considerate monster?
Jonathan: What?
Ben: A complete failure.
Joke submitted by Benjamin M., Rancho Cordova, Calif.
Comic by Daryll Collins


A book never written: “All That’s Left of Me” by Myra Maines.
Joke submitted by Kieran F., Emporia, Kan.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Joke submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.


Mackenna: Where is a ghost’s favorite place to sit in a restaurant?
Grayson: I don’t know. Where?
Mackenna: A boo-th!
Joke submitted by Mackenna D., Hampstead, North Carolina


Comic by Scott Nickel


Daffynition: Retreat — To get another piece of candy on Halloween.
Joke submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.


Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Joke submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.


Comic by Scott Nickel


Pam: What kind of phone do witches use?
Sam: What kind?
Pam: A touch-toad phone.
Joke submitted by Pam A., Wasilla, Alaska


Cresencio: What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Chris: What?
Cresencio: Spelling.
Joke submitted by Cresencio A., Norwalk, Calif.


Comic by Van Scott


Henry: What do you call a wolf that notices everything?
Mike: What?
Henry: Awarewolf.
Joke submitted by Henry N., Austin, Texas


Elizabeth: What is Dracula’s favorite sport?
Christian: What?
Elizabeth: Bat-minton!
Joke submitted by Elizabeth J., Sugar Land, Texas


Rhett: Why don’t skeletons play music in church?
Hank: No clue.
Rhett: Because they don’t have any organs.
Joke submitted by Rhett A., Louisa, Virginia


Jayden: What is a panda’s favorite Halloween food?
Cayden: What?
Jayden: Bam-BOO!
Joke submitted by Jayden V., Westerly, Rhode Island


Alex: Where do monsters get tattoos?
Liz: Where?
Alex: At Monsters Ink!
Joke submitted by Alex Y., Spring Grove, Illinois


DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!

Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great Halloween jokes!
Download the joke book (PDF)
Folding instructions


Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

Laugh at 4,000+ more funny jokes at jokes.scoutlife.org!

59 Comments on 101 Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

  1. I loved these jokes

  2. mj 4 ever // October 25, 2012 at 8:49 pm //

    what did the mother ghost say to her son dont spook in less you wear spookn to

  3. mama one direction // October 25, 2012 at 11:48 am //

    hey i love one direction more that those jokes

  4. i just write these down now i an going to use these for jokes thanks xx

  5. why didnt the sceliton go swimming

  6. Cool jokes everyone but i got one more
    abby: “What did Isabella say 2 the ghost?”
    Bay: “What??”
    abby: ” Watcha Booo-ing???

  7. awesomeperson // October 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm //

    I only like the joke about the monster rolling eyeballs back to a lady.

  8. Cool jokes could use these for challenges!

  9. cool jokes

  10. mulleenio // October 24, 2012 at 2:10 am //

    These jokes made me physically ill.

  11. Lol my mom thought these were hysterical
    🎃👻happy Halloween!!

  12. who ever says these are bad dosn’t know how to laugh

  13. MageOfMoltor // October 23, 2012 at 7:01 pm //

    These jokes sure are a “scream”. [:D

  14. Godzilla 90,s // October 23, 2012 at 5:32 pm //

    ive got better ones like this !!!me:whats a skeletons favorite type of resturant zac:i dunno me: a joint!!!!

  15. These jokes make me laugh out loud

  16. this are not funny at all

  17. Da poopster // October 23, 2012 at 6:19 am //

    ha ha ha, very funny.

  18. maca-paca // October 22, 2012 at 2:27 pm //

    like the vampire jokes gunna use 3 this year:P

  19. very funny

  20. i love theses jokes they are absolutely hilarious

  21. Some were funny but the rest did not make sence

  22. There r to many jokes i cant keep track

  23. they were pretty good well done

  24. Hallows Eve // October 11, 2012 at 5:13 pm //

    Hahahahahaha! That’s so corny! But they are funny oh so funny.

  25. Anonymous // October 11, 2012 at 3:26 pm //

    There funny

  26. says says // October 8, 2012 at 5:41 pm //

    HA HA VERY FUNNY!

  27. They stink!

  28. I like your jokes

  29. Too Funny!!!:)

  30. OK ANSWER/BURGER BOY // May 3, 2012 at 9:55 am //

    Like’em!!! 🙂 😛 😀 😆

  31. CountSpatula4 // February 10, 2012 at 10:51 am //

    They Were Ok.

  32. they alright

  33. really liked laughed so much im using these for halloween 2011

  34. Ms. Leader // October 29, 2011 at 3:04 am //

    Good ones!!!! :0)

  35. Haha! Bringing these to the Pack Meeting tonight!!

  36. Haha this makes me miss my Boy’s Life subscription.

  37. piratechick // October 28, 2011 at 3:55 pm //

    I can’t wait to share these at our pack mtg tonight

  38. funny funny funny funny funny funny funny

  39. sooooo funny!

  40. i looked at them and laughed but……..there was to many vampire jokes

  41. guys read // October 19, 2011 at 6:25 pm //

    ha ha

  42. very amusing

  43. ROFLOLCOPTER!

  44. My mom saw them, and laughed so hard she couldn’t talk!

  45. hee hee ha ha lol

  46. hahahahahahahahahah(or) lol

  47. Game Masta a.k.a.1 4m 4w30m3 // October 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm //

    iLike them!

  48. WA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!

  49. Ha!Ghost jokes!

  50. funny so funny

Comments are closed.