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20 Funny Dentist Jokes

Open wide! You’ll laugh out loud with these 20 pain-free (and funny!) dentist jokes submitted by Scout Life readers.

Do you know a funny dentist joke? Click here to send your joke to us.


Josh: Why did the king go to the dentist?
Scott: Beats me.
Josh: To get his teeth crowned!

Submitted by Matthew F., Havre de Grace, Md.


Luke: What is a dentist’s favorite movie?
Joey: Beats me.
Luke: “Plaque to the Future”!

Submitted by Luke H., Cornwall-on-Hudson, N.Y.


Luke: What did the judge say to the dentist?
Joe: I don’t know. What?
Luke: “Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?”

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.


Bob: What do you call a dentist’s advice?
Bobby: Not sure.
Bob: His fl ossophy.

Submitted by Joshua H., Plainview, Texas



Jack: What does a marching band member use to brush his teeth?
Chase: I have no idea.
Jack: A tuba toothpaste!

Submitted by Jack R., Edina, Minn.


A book never written: “Dental Examination” by Hope N. Wide.

Submitted by John T., Lusby, Md.


Alex: What’s a dentist’s favorite time of day?
Randy: Tell me.
Alex: Tooth-hurty!

Submitted by Alexander D., Minster, Ohio


Phil: How are false teeth like stars?
Hank: Tell me.
Phil: Both only come out at night!

Submitted by Phil N., Bedford, N.H.


Tom Swiftie: “Use your own toothbrush!” Tom bristled.

Submitted by LJ R., Coppell, Tex.


Wes: Knock, knock.
James: Who’s there?
Wes: Dishes.
James: Dishes, who?
Wes: Dishes how I talk since I lost my teeth!

Submitted by Weston L., Hartsville, S.C.


A book never written: “Life as a Dentist” by Flo Ride.

Submitted by Andrew M., Fort Smith, Ark.


A book never written: “Pain Management” by Nova Cane.

Submitted by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.


Jacob: What will the dentist give you for $1?
Will: I haven’t a clue.
Jacob: Buck teeth!

Submitted by Jacob P., Fenton, Mo.


Dentist: What kind of filling do you want in your tooth?
Boy: Chocolate!

Submitted by Gabriel A. C., Ypsilanti, Mich.


Bob: How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
Fred: I don’t know. How?
Bob: His drill slipped.

Submitted by Trenton S., Salt Lake City, Utah


Dentist: Hmm, it would appear that you have nice, even teeth.
Hockey Player: Thanks, doc.
Dentist: Unfortunately, it’s because teeth Nos. 1, 3 and 5 are missing.

Submitted by Lucas J., Trion, Ga.


Aneesh: What does a dentist call an astronaut’s cavity?
Aditya: I don’t know.
Aneesh: “A black hole.”

Submitted by Aneesh S., Flushing, N.Y.


Jay: What did the dentist say to the judge in court?
Clay: What?
Jay: “You can’t handle the tooth!”

Submitted by James L., Pittsford, N.Y.


Pee Wee: How do you fix a broken tooth?
Westy: How?
Pee Wee: With tooth paste!

Submitted by Katie M., Mount Carmel, Ill.


Patient: What did you do before you became a dentist?
Dentist: I was in the Army.
Patient: What did you do in the Army?
Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.

Submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.


A book never written: “I Have a Toothache” by Phil McCavity.

Submitted by Ben M., Chariton, Iowa


Brandon: Why did the doughnut go to the dentist?
Kaleb: Tell me.
Brandon: He needed a filling!

Submitted by Brandon R., Morgantown, N.C.


Do you know a funny dentist joke? Click here to send your joke to us.

12 Comments on 20 Funny Dentist Jokes

  1. What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea? Denis.

  2. Neil...but you don't have to! // July 11, 2019 at 9:20 am // Reply

    My dentist defies the law of cavity!

  3. What do you call a doctor that didnt get into medical school? Dentist.

  4. What does the dentist use to call people?
    Blue tooth!

    My dad, a dentist, actual uses Blue Tooth for calls. 😂

  5. What’s a dentist’s favourite dance?
    The floss!

  6. What a dentist calls her x rays: TOOTH PICS!

  7. Dentist; Do you floss?
    Patient; Religiously
    Dentist; Really?
    Patient; yes. Christmas & Easter!

  8. … what did the Dog say to the Dentist????
    “ I barked my canine”

  9. arnoldi63@yahoo.com // May 30, 2018 at 1:21 am // Reply

    If I ever hear another Dentist joke, I’ll be down in the mouth.

    If you strike oil while drilling, we’ll split the profits.

    My dentist’s favorite song is “The Yanks Are Coming”

  10. John- When is my dentist appointment?
    Sally- I don’t know.
    John- Oh right. It’s at tooth-hurty. (2:30)

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