101 Funny Halloween Jokes and Comics

By Scout Life readers

Happy Halloween! We dare you not to scream with laughter when you read these funny Halloween jokes by Scout Life readers. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send in your joke.

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Joe: What do you call wood when it’s scared?
Bob: I don’t know.
Joe: Petrified!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Lincoln, Neb.
Comic by Daryll Collins

Daniel: What do you do when zombies surround your house?
Sam: What?
Daniel: Hope it’s Halloween.
Joke submitted by Daniel R., Boerne, Texas

Comic by Scott Nickel

Keenan: What happens when a mummy gets a cold?
John: I have no clue.
Keenan: It starts coffin!
Joke submitted by Keenan N., Williamstown, Kentucky

Lucas: Where do the baby ghost go?
Jeff: I’m stumped.
Lucas: Day scare!
Joke submitted by Lucas Z., Evans, Ga.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Ayn: What does a turkey dress up as for Halloween?
Samantha: I don’t know. What?
Ayn: A gobblin’!
Joke submitted by Ayn A., Pittsburgh, Pa.

Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Joke submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Jenna: What did the vampire say to the ghost at the Halloween party?
Brenna: What?
Jenna: “Come on! Why don’t you live a little?”
Joke submitted by Jenna C., Columbia, Mo.

Thomas: How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern?
George: I have no clue.
Thomas: With a pumpkin patch.
Joke submitted by Thomas W., Shreveport, La.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Arlene: What kind of dessert do ghosts like?
Alice: What?
Arlene: I scream!
Joke submitted by Arlene A., Selma, Calif.

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Joke submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Tanay: Knock, knock.
Dad: Who’s there?
Tanay: Boo.
Dad: Boo, who?
Tanay: Why are you crying?!
Joke submitted by Tanay G., Chantilly, Virginia

Bert: What did the ghost wear to the dance?
Sam: I have no clue.
Bert: Booooots.
Joke submitted by Bert Y., Corpus Christi, Tex.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Danny: Why didn’t the ghost go to the Halloween party?
Cody: I haven’t the foggiest.
Danny: He was afraid he was going to be booed.
Joke submitted by Danny V., Camarillo, Calif.

Brett: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Joke submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio

Comic by Scott Nickel

Spencer: What plants like Halloween the most?
Tanner: Which ones?
Spencer: Bam-BOO!
Joke submitted by Tanner S., Tampa, Fla.

Micah: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin from your roof?
Cameron: What?
Micah: Squash!
Joke submitted by Micah T., Abbeville, S.C.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Yashaswi: What’s the witch’s best subject?
Amy: I haven’t the foggiest.
Yashaswi: Spelling!
Joke submitted by Yashaswi S., Fredericksburg, Va.

Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Joke submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.

Comic by Daryll Collins

Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Joke submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.

Barbara: What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Cindy: I don’t know.
Barbara: Boo jeans!
Joke submitted by Barbara M., Simpsonville, S.C.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Christopher: What did Superman say to Batman when he invited him to the graveyard on Halloween night?
Daniel: I don’t know.
Christopher: “Sorry, I can’t go into the kryptonite.”
Joke submitted by Christopher S., Chesapeake, Va.

Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Joke submitted by Maxwell C.

Comic by Scott Nickel

John: Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?
Mark: Why?
John: He didn’t have the stomach for it!
Joke submitted by John C., Houston, Texas

Aiden: Where do ghosts make their movies?
Bob: I don’t know.
Aiden: At Univer-soul Studios.
Joke submitted by Aiden W., Granite City, Ill.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Erick: Where do ghosts like to swim?
Carl: I don’t know. Tell me.
Erick: The Dead Sea.
Joke submitted by Erick O., National City, Calif.

Sam: What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
Frank: I don’t know.
Sam: The “grim sweeper.”
Joke submitted by Sam M., Pittsburgh, Pa.

Comic by Thomastoons

Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch on Halloween?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Joke submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.

Luke: What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?
Jen: I have no clue.
Luke: Broommates!
Joke submitted by Luke B., Kenosha, Wis.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Brenda: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
Bianca: Where?
Brenda: At the casketeria.
Joke submitted by Brenda D., Elmira, N.Y.

Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Joke submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Joke submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.

Darius: What part of the street do vampires live on?
Chad: I don’t know.
Darius: The dead end.
Joke submitted by Darius C., Columbia, Md.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Joke submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.

Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Joke submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Rich: Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Mitch: Tell me.
Rich: Because people are dying to get in!
Joke submitted by Richard D., Granville, Ohio

Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Joke submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Joke submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.

Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween?
Connor: Beats me.
Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”
Joke submitted by Gavin H., Stoughton, Mass.

Comic by Thomastoons

Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Joke submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio

Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Joke submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.

Comic by Jon Carter

Kirk: Why do mummies have no friends?
Mike: Why
Kirk: Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves!
Joke submitted by Kirk J., Bothell, Wash.

Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Joke submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Joke submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.

Stephen: What did the ghost say when the skeleton lied to him?
David: I haven’t a clue.
Stephen: “I can see right through you.”
Joke submitted by Stephen S., Knoxville, Tenn.

Comic by Scott Nickel

A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Joke submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.

Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
Thomas: Why?
Jess: It dampens their spirits!
Joke submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.

Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks for Halloween?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Joke submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Joke submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.

Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Joke submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Steve: What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter?
Paul: What?
Steve: Pumpkin-pi!
Joke submitted by Steve H., Sagamore Hills, Ohio

Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Joke submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.

Comic by ThomasToons

Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Joke submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.

Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Joke submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Joke submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.

A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Joke submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.

Comic by Scott Masear

Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Joke submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.

Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Joke submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Joke submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.

Todd: What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
Leanne: What?
Todd: The xylabone.
Joke submitted by Todd F., Indianapolis, Ind.

Ben: What do you call a kind and considerate monster?
Jonathan: What?
Ben: A complete failure.
Joke submitted by Benjamin M., Rancho Cordova, Calif.
Comic by Daryll Collins

A book never written: “All That’s Left of Me” by Myra Maines.
Joke submitted by Kieran F., Emporia, Kan.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Joke submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.

Mackenna: Where is a ghost’s favorite place to sit in a restaurant?
Grayson: I don’t know. Where?
Mackenna: A boo-th!
Joke submitted by Mackenna D., Hampstead, North Carolina

Comic by Scott Nickel

Daffynition: Retreat — To get another piece of candy on Halloween.
Joke submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.

Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Joke submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Pam: What kind of phone do witches use?
Sam: What kind?
Pam: A touch-toad phone.
Joke submitted by Pam A., Wasilla, Alaska

Cresencio: What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Chris: What?
Cresencio: Spelling.
Joke submitted by Cresencio A., Norwalk, Calif.

Comic by Van Scott

Henry: What do you call a wolf that notices everything?
Mike: What?
Henry: Awarewolf.
Joke submitted by Henry N., Austin, Texas

Elizabeth: What is Dracula’s favorite sport?
Christian: What?
Elizabeth: Bat-minton!
Joke submitted by Elizabeth J., Sugar Land, Texas

Comic by Scott Nickel

Rhett: Why don’t skeletons play music in church?
Hank: No clue.
Rhett: Because they don’t have any organs.
Joke submitted by Rhett A., Louisa, Virginia

Jayden: What is a panda’s favorite Halloween food?
Cayden: What?
Jayden: Bam-BOO!
Joke submitted by Jayden V., Westerly, Rhode Island