Ho! Ho! Ho! Laugh at 100 Funny Christmas Jokes and Comics

Happy Holidays! Count down the days until December 25th with these very funny kid’s Christmas jokes sent in by Scout Life readers. We guarantee this clean holiday humor will help you “ho ho ho” like a certain jolly old elf.

Do you know a funny Christmas joke? Click here to send it to us.

Comic by Daryll Collins

DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!

Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great holiday jokes!
• Download the joke book (PDF)
• Folding instructions

Caroline: What happens when Santa Claus gets stuck in a chimney?
Jill: Tell me.
Caroline: He gets Claustrophobia!

Joke submitted by Caroline V., Castle Rock, Colo.

Drake: You find it in December but not in any other month. What is it?
Gina: I don’t know.
Drake: The letter D!

Joke submitted by Drake L., Charlotte, N.C.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Maggie: What is the most dangerous kind of body part?
Sara: I don’t know.
Maggie: Mistletoes.

Joke submitted by Maggie S., Madison, Wis.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Zachary: Which of Santa’s reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of?
Lee: No idea.
Zachary: Comet!

Joke submitted by Zachary A., Miami, Fla.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Ricky: What is a snowman’s favorite snack?
Zoey: I don’t know.
Ricky: Ice crispy treats.

Joke submitted by Ricky M., Atlanta, Ga.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Henry: What did one gingerbread man say after all the others were eaten?
Lauren: I haven’t the foggiest.
Henry: “It’s hard to bake new friends.”

Joke submitted by Henry P., Portland, Ore.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Tom Swifty: “I wish I’d never come to the North Pole,” Tom said coldly.

Joke submitted by Owen B., Maplewood, N.J.

Comic by Jon Carter

Young: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Chris: I’m stumped.
Young: “Jungle Bells!”

Joke submitted by Young L., Chicago, Ill.

Comic by Daryll Collins

Carter: What do elves do in school?
Miley: What?
Carter: Presentations!

Joke submitted by Carter A., Waterloo, Ill.

Arjun: What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
Alexander: I haven’t the foggiest.
Arjun: An abdominal snowman.

Joke submitted by Arjun S., Dover, Del.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Nathaniel: What do you call Santa Claus with unfolded clothes?
Tyler: I don’t know. What?
Nathaniel: Kris Wrinkle.

Joke submitted by Nathaniel C., Manhattan, Kan.

John: What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Zack: What?
John: A cookie sheet.

Joke submitted by John D., Johnstown, Penn.

Comics by Thomastoons

Suiyao: Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
David: I don’t know.
Suiyao: Elf-is Presley!

Joke submitted by Suiyao L., Portland, Ore.

Ben: What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas?
Jack: I don’t know.
Ben: “‘Tis the season to be jelly.”

Joke submitted by Ben G., Bethlehem, Penn.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Isaac: What is the Grinch’s favorite holiday?
Anthony: I don’t know.
Isaac: Grinchmas!

Joke submitted by Isaac M., Herndon, Va.

Jeremy: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Brian: I’m stumped.
Jeremy: Frostbite!

Joke submitted by Jeremy B., Lynchburg, Ohio

Comic by Scott Nickel

Donald: What’s Pedro’s favorite part of Christmas?
Will: What?
Donald: Elfalfa milkshakes!

Joke submitted by Donald G., Columbia, S.C.

Peter: Someone must be mad at Frosty the Snowman.
Isaiah: Why?
Peter: Because they gave him two black eyes.

Joke submitted by Peter W., Chetek, Wisc.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Sean: Knock, knock.
Fawn: Who’s there?
Sean: Murray.
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!

Joke submitted by Sean H., Farmington, N.M.

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”

His wife asked, “How do you know?”

“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Joke submitted by Jorgen R., Prunedale, Calif.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Caleb: What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
Ben: Beats me.
Caleb: They both have sandy claws.

Joke submitted by Joshua H., Seminole, Fla.

Laure: Why do mummies like the holidays so much?
Benny: Why?
Laure: They’re into all the wrapping.

Joke submitted by Bill G., Davis, Calif.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Will: What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
Bill: What?
Will: Anytime!

Joke submitted by Keith G., Forestdale, Mass.

Killian: Knock, knock.
Gary: Who’s there?
Killian: Pizza.
Gary: Pizza, who?
Killian: Pizza on earth, good will toward men!

Joke submitted by Killian L., Greensburg, Pa.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Noah: What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
Mike: I haven’t a clue.
Noah: The Finch Who Stole Christmas.

Joke submitted by Noah B., Port Deposit, Md.

Rylan: What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?
Ryan: What?
Rylan: “Baaaa humbug!”

Joke submitted by Rylan M., Milwaukee, Wisc.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Casen: What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
Austin: I’m stumped.
Casen: “Santa Jaws!”

Joke submitted by Casen S., Tyler, Tex.

Will: Where do snowmen keep their money?
Bill: Beats me.
Will: In a snow bank.

Joke submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Bill: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Laura: Why?
Bill: Because the present’s beneath them.

Joke submitted by Bill G., Davis, Calif.

Sister: What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?
Brother: A list of everything I want!

Joke submitted by Calvin L., Orlando, Fla.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Tim: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.

Joke submitted by Tim S., Merriam, Kan.

Chris: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chrissy: What?
Chris: Chill out.

Joke submitted by Christopher H., Fair Oaks, Calif.

Comic by Scott Nickel

A book never written: “Joyful Occasions” by Holly Daze.

Joke submitted by Matthew H., Northridge, Calif.

Josh: What does Jack Frost like best about school?
John: What?
Josh: Snow and tell.

Joke submitted by Joshua S., Lafayette, Ind.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Zoey: What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?
Johnny: I don’t know. What?
Zoey: A pineapple!

Joke submitted by Zoey Y., Flower Mound, Tex.

A book never written: “How to Decorate a Tree” by Orna Ment.

Joke submitted by Justin L., Galena, Ohio

Comic by Scott Nickel

Moe: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year?
Joe: I haven’t decided yet.
Moe: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The measles.

Joke submitted by Suzan L. W., Spring Hill, Fla.

Pedro: What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents and scratches up your furniture?
Ordep: Beats me. What?
Pedro: Santa Claws.

Joke submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Jacob: What do road crews use at the North Pole?
Jason: I don’t know.
Jacob: Snow cones!

Joke submitted by Ashwin B., Morris Plains, N.J.

Travis: Where do polar bears vote?
Anthony: Where?
Travis: The North Poll!

Joke submitted by Travis S., Alta Loma, Calif.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Teacher: Johnny, define claustrophobia.
Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?

Joke submitted by Ronesha M., Allen, Tex.

Santa: Knock, knock.
Elf: Who’s there?
Santa: Olive.
Elf: Olive, who?
Santa: Olive the other reindeer.

Joke submitted by Joe R., Saint Charles, Mo.

Comic by Thomas Toons

Luke: What do elves do after school?
Jeffrey: I don’t know. What?
Luke: Their gnome work!

Joke submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

Chance: Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?
Nate: Why?
Chance: Because he went down in history.

Joke submitted by Chance L., Larchmont, New York

Comic by Scott Nickel

Joe: What nationality is Santa Claus?
Moe: What?
Joe: North Polish.

Joke submitted by Joe B., Huntersville, N.C.

Amanda: What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
Robert: What?
Amanda: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.

Joke submitted by Amanda M., Springfield, Mo.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Wayne: How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?
Crystal: I’m stumped.
Wayne: Nothing. It was on the house!

Joke submitted by Wayne T., Xenia, Ohio

Daniel: What do fish sing during winter?
Josh: What?
Daniel: Christmas corals.

Joke submitted by Daniel L., Durham, North Carolina

Comic by Jon Carter

Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas.
Luke: How do you know?
Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.

Joke submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.

When asked about his job, Frosty always replies, “There’s no business like snow business.”

Joke submitted by Doug C., Gahanna, Ohio

Comic by Scott Nickel

Steve: What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Tim: Not sure.
Steve: Ornamints.

Joke submitted by Steve A., Austin, Texas

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as ‘subordinate clauses’?”

Joke submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Josh: Knock, knock!
Samantha: Who’s there?
Josh: Dexter.
Samantha: Dexter, who?
Josh: Dexter halls with boughs of holly.

Joke submitted by Josh B., Dublin, Ohio

Sam: What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?
Devin: Not sure.
Sam: Tinsel-itis!

Joke submitted by Sam J., Mona, Utah

Comic by Scott Nickel

Trey: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Brandon: I give up.
Trey: Frostbite.

Joke submitted by Trey D., Ringgold, Ga.

Josh: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Mark: Dunno. Why?
Josh: Because he had low elf esteem!

Joke submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.

Pedro: What does Santa say at the start of a race?
Pee Wee: I don’t know.
Pedro: “Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Joke submitted by Pedro the Mailburro
Comic by Daryll Collins

Sam: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
Pam: Why?
Sam: Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!

Joke submitted by Sam P., Merrimack, N.H.

Comic by Scott Nickel

A book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.

Joke submitted by Kole N., Amherst, N.H.

Andrew: What did the pepper say on its holiday card?
Luke: I don’t know.
Andrew: “Season’s greetings.”

Joke submitted by Andrew T., Allen, Tex.

Comic by Scott Nickel

William: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
David: What?
William: Do you smell carrots?

Joke submitted by William W., Shapleigh, Me.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Pee Wee: What did the reindeer say to the football player?
Westy: I don’t know.
Pee Wee: “Your Blitzen days are over!”

Joke submitted by Nhan P., Camp Hill, Pa.

Colton: How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”?
Tammi: How?
Colton: “Fleece Navidad!”

Joke submitted by Colton S., Kansas City, Kan.

Comic by Scott Nickel

DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!

Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great holiday jokes!
• Download the joke book template (PDF)
• Folding instructions

Do you know a funny Christmas joke? Click here to send it to us.