30 Funny St. Patrick’s Day Jokes and Comics

Even if you remember to wear green on March 17, you’ll still get a “pinch” of humor from these funny St. Patrick’s Day jokes submitted by Scout Life readers.

Do you know a funny St. Patrick’s Day joke? Click here to send your joke to us.

Tom: What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
Pee Wee: I don’t know.
Tom: A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day.

Joke submitted by Tommy F., Aberdeen, Md.
Comic by Daryll Collins

DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!

Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great St. Patrick’s Day jokes!
• Download the joke book (PDF)
• Folding instructions

Comic by Scott Nickel

Seth: What do you call a fake Irish stone?
Spencer: What?
Seth: A shamrock!

Joke submitted by Seth F., Frederick, Colo.

Comic by Scott Nickel

David: Mom, I met an Irish boy on St. Patrick’s Day.
Mom: Oh, really?
David: No, O’Reilly!

Joke submitted by David K., Shelby Township, Mich.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Katelynn: What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended?
Molly: What?
Katelynn: Game clover!

Joke submitted by Katelynn E., Lexington, Ky.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Joe: Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
Bob: Tell me.
Joe: You might press your luck!

Joke submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.

Sean: What happens if you fall in the Irish Sea on St. Patrick’s Day?
David: No idea.
Sean: You get wet!

Joke submitted by Sean D., Falls Church, Va.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Jack: On what musical instrument did the show-off musician play his St. Patrick’s Day tunes?
Ally: I have no idea.
Jack: On his brag-pipes.

Joke submitted by Jacqueline S., Moline, Ill.

Danni: Knock. Knock.
Izzy: Who’s there?
Danni: Warren.
Izzy: Warren who?
Danni: Warren any green today?

Joke submitted by Danni L., Memphis, Tenn.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Keenan: What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers and plastic bottles?
Liam: What?
Keenan: “Wee-cyclers!”

Joke submitted by Jacqueline S., Moline, Ill.

Tim: How can you tell if a leprechaun likes your joke?
Rob: How?
Tim: He’s Dublin over with laughter!

Joke submitted by Tim S., Biloxi, Miss.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Jon: How can you tell if a potato is not from Ireland?
Sami: Not sure.
Jon: When it’s a French fry.

Joke submitted by Jon J., Redland, Calif.

Ian: Where do leprechauns buy their groceries?
Colin: I don’t know.
Ian: Rainbow Foods!

Joke submitted by Ian C., Minneapolis, Minn.

Comic by Daryll Collins

Peyton: What did the leprechaun say on March 17?
Cody: I dunno.
Peyton: “Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!”

Joke submitted by Andy K., Perkasie, Pa.

Jamie: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
Ashley: Why?
Jamie: Airplanes weren’t invented yet.

Joke submitted by Jamie M., Plantation, Fla.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Carrot: Knock, knock.
Potato: Who’s there?
Carrot: Irish stew.
Potato: Irish stew, who?
Carrot: Irish stew in the name of the law.

Joke submitted by J.S., Hayward, Calif.

Mike: What does a leprechaun say when you tell him Bono is his favorite singer?
Misty: Tell me.
Mike: You too?

Joke submitted by Mike M., Omaha, Neb.

Comic by Daryll Collins

Evan: What’s Irish and stays out all night?
Steffan: What?
Evan: Paddy O’Furniture.

Joke submitted by Evan R., Wylie, Tex.

Will: What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland?
Cody: No clue.
Will: Grape Britain!

Joke submitted by Will C., Laramie, Wyo.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Steph: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
Jak: Why?
Steph: ‘Cause real rocks are too heavy!

Joke submitted by Steph O., El Paso, Tex.

Alexis: What do you call Dwayne Johnson’s stunt double?
Zack: What?
Alexis: The Sham-Rock!

Joke submitted by Alexis J., Margate, Fla.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Mika: What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow?
Will: A pot of gold?
Mika: No, a Potty Gold!

Joke submitted by Mika C., Las Vegas, Nev.

Ella: What did Saint Patrick say when he drove all the snakes out of Ireland?
Bella: I don’t know.
Ella: “Everyone got seat belts on back there?”

Joke submitted by Ella C., Topeka, Kan.

DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!

Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great St. Patrick’s Day jokes!
• Download the joke book (PDF)
• Folding instructions

Do you know a funny St. Patrick’s Day joke? Click here to send your joke to us.