Laugh at 25 Funny Olympic Jokes

Let the Olympic groans begin! Here are 25 funny Olympic jokes sent in by Scout Life readers that deserve a gold medal in humor. Do you know a funny Olympic joke? Click here to send your joke to us.

Once you’re done laughing, check out our Summer Games trivia quiz, the Top 10 moments for Team USA, and our gallery of wild and wacky Olympic mascots.

A book never written: “The Olympic Trials” by Willy Qualify.
Joke by Will R., Littleton, Colo.

Fan: I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What’s it for?
Athlete: It’s for telling knock knock jokes.
Fan: And what’s that gold medal for?
Athlete: For stopping.
Joke by Matthew R., Chesapeake, Va.

Jack: What’s the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?
Jill: I haven’t a clue. What?
Jack: Prontosaurus.
Joke by Joseph M., Akron, Ohio

Tom Swiftie: “I like the Olympics!” Tom said gamely.
Joke by Katie K., Liberty Hill, Tex.

Seth: Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?
Will: I don’t know.
Seth: Because the players dribble all over the court!
Joke by Travis V., Kilgore, Texas

Nicholas: What’s the fastest bug at the Olympics?
Triston: What?
Nicholas: The quicket.
Joke by Nicholas R., Spokane Valley, Wash.

Dan: Why does Cinderella never win the Olympics?
Stan: Why?
Dan: She has a pumpkin for a coach and runs away from the ball.
Joke by Danny C., Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla.

Daffynition: Olympiads — Commercials shown during the Summer and Winter Games.
Joke by Padraic B., Oakland, N.J.

A book never written: “Winter Olympic Sports” by Bob Sled.
Joke by Gray C., Phoenix, Ariz.

Mike: Why is it so hot in a stadium after the Olympic games are over?
Andy: I don’t know.
Mike: Because all the fans have left!
Joke by Mike A., Genoa, Ill.

Comic by Jon Carter

Joe: What is a banana’s favorite gymnastics move?
Barbara: Beats me.
Joe: The splits!
Joke by Turner F., Yankton, South Dakota

A book never written: “How to Do Gymnastics” by Tom E. Tuck.
Joke by Tyler K., Monponsett, Mass.

Tyler: How do fireflies start a race?
Ted: I don’t know. How?
Tyler: “On your mark. Get set. Glow!”
Joke by Tyler S., Ferndale, Mich.

Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics?
Kyle: I haven’t a clue.
Zeke: Because they couldn’t keep their trunks up!
Joke by Adam K., Wolcott, Conn.

Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
Matthew: Why?
Peter: Because he broke the record!
Joke by Matthew M., Stone Mountain, Ga.

Jeffrey: Knock, knock.
Joseph: Who’s there?
Jeffrey: Woo.
Joseph: Woo, who?
Jeffrey: What are you cheering for? We didn’t win a medal.

Joke by Jeffrey L., Dayton, Ohio; Comic by Daryll Collins

A book never written: “How to Win at the Olympics” by Vick Tori.
Joke by Ridge S., Manchester, Ga.

Devan: Why did the spotted cat get disqualified from the Olympics?
Evan: Why?
Devan: It was a cheetah.
Joke by Devan T., Shawnee, Kan.

Teacher: Johnny, please use the word “account” in a sentence.
Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “On account of three, we’ll start the race.”
Joke by Scott M., Lyons, Ohio

Jake: What did the hot dog say when it won a gold medal?
Josh: What?
Jake: I’m a wiener!
Joke by Peter H., Danbury, Conn.

Wyatt: Why can’t tomatoes win races against lettuce at the Summer Games?
Steven: Tell me.
Wyatt: Because the lettuce are always a head, and the tomatoes are always trying to ketchup!
Joke by Wyatt S., Newberry, Mich.

Nathan: Why couldn’t the wolf run in the marathon?
Tim: I don’t know.
Nathan: He wasn’t a part of the human race!
Joke by Nathan H., Springfield, Va.

Jack: Why couldn’t the bike finish the Olympic race?
Jon: Why?
Jack: It was two-tired.
Joke by Kyle R., Francesville, Ind.

A book never written: “The Marathon” by Will E. Makit.
Joke by Matthew P., Dennis, Mass.

Parker: What is the best part of an Olympic boxer’s joke?
Harper: Tell me.
Parker: The punch line.
Joke by Parker O., Overland Park, Kan.

Do you know some funny Olympic jokes? Click here to send us your Olympic jokes.