Ho! Ho! Ho! Laugh at 100 Funny Christmas Jokes and Comics
Happy Holidays! Count down the days until December 25th with these very funny kid’s Christmas jokes sent in by Scout Life readers. We guarantee this clean holiday humor will help you “ho ho ho” like a certain jolly old elf.
Do you know a funny Christmas joke? Click here to send it to us.
Comic by Daryll Collins
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Caroline: What happens when Santa Claus gets stuck in a chimney?
Jill: Tell me.
Caroline: He gets Claustrophobia!
Joke submitted by Caroline V., Castle Rock, Colo.
Drake: You find it in December but not in any other month. What is it?
Gina: I don’t know.
Drake: The letter D!
Joke submitted by Drake L., Charlotte, N.C.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Maggie: What is the most dangerous kind of body part?
Sara: I don’t know.
Maggie: Mistletoes.
Joke submitted by Maggie S., Madison, Wis.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Zachary: Which of Santa’s reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of?
Lee: No idea.
Zachary: Comet!
Joke submitted by Zachary A., Miami, Fla.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Ricky: What is a snowman’s favorite snack?
Zoey: I don’t know.
Ricky: Ice crispy treats.
Joke submitted by Ricky M., Atlanta, Ga.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Henry: What did one gingerbread man say after all the others were eaten?
Lauren: I haven’t the foggiest.
Henry: “It’s hard to bake new friends.”
Joke submitted by Henry P., Portland, Ore.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Tom Swifty: “I wish I’d never come to the North Pole,” Tom said coldly.
Joke submitted by Owen B., Maplewood, N.J.
Comic by Jon Carter
Young: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Chris: I’m stumped.
Young: “Jungle Bells!”
Joke submitted by Young L., Chicago, Ill.
Comic by Daryll Collins
Carter: What do elves do in school?
Miley: What?
Carter: Presentations!
Joke submitted by Carter A., Waterloo, Ill.
Arjun: What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
Alexander: I haven’t the foggiest.
Arjun: An abdominal snowman.
Joke submitted by Arjun S., Dover, Del.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Nathaniel: What do you call Santa Claus with unfolded clothes?
Tyler: I don’t know. What?
Nathaniel: Kris Wrinkle.
Joke submitted by Nathaniel C., Manhattan, Kan.
John: What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Zack: What?
John: A cookie sheet.
Joke submitted by John D., Johnstown, Penn.
Comics by Thomastoons
Suiyao: Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
David: I don’t know.
Suiyao: Elf-is Presley!
Joke submitted by Suiyao L., Portland, Ore.
Ben: What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas?
Jack: I don’t know.
Ben: “‘Tis the season to be jelly.”
Joke submitted by Ben G., Bethlehem, Penn.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Isaac: What is the Grinch’s favorite holiday?
Anthony: I don’t know.
Isaac: Grinchmas!
Joke submitted by Isaac M., Herndon, Va.
Jeremy: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Brian: I’m stumped.
Jeremy: Frostbite!
Joke submitted by Jeremy B., Lynchburg, Ohio
Comic by Scott Nickel
Donald: What’s Pedro’s favorite part of Christmas?
Will: What?
Donald: Elfalfa milkshakes!
Joke submitted by Donald G., Columbia, S.C.
Peter: Someone must be mad at Frosty the Snowman.
Isaiah: Why?
Peter: Because they gave him two black eyes.
Joke submitted by Peter W., Chetek, Wisc.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Sean: Knock, knock.
Fawn: Who’s there?
Sean: Murray.
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!
Joke submitted by Sean H., Farmington, N.M.
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, βItβs going to rain.β
His wife asked, βHow do you know?β
βBecause Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.β
Joke submitted by Jorgen R., Prunedale, Calif.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Caleb: What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
Ben: Beats me.
Caleb: They both have sandy claws.
Joke submitted by Joshua H., Seminole, Fla.
Laure: Why do mummies like the holidays so much?
Benny: Why?
Laure: They’re into all the wrapping.
Joke submitted by Bill G., Davis, Calif.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Will: What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
Bill: What?
Will: Anytime!
Joke submitted by Keith G., Forestdale, Mass.
Killian: Knock, knock.
Gary: Whoβs there?
Killian: Pizza.
Gary: Pizza, who?
Killian: Pizza on earth, good will toward men!
Joke submitted by Killian L., Greensburg, Pa.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Noah: What is a birdβs favorite Christmas story?
Mike: I havenβt a clue.
Noah: The Finch Who Stole Christmas.
Joke submitted by Noah B., Port Deposit, Md.
Rylan: What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?
Ryan: What?
Rylan: “Baaaa humbug!”
Joke submitted by Rylan M., Milwaukee, Wisc.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Casen: What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
Austin: Iβm stumped.
Casen: βSanta Jaws!β
Joke submitted by Casen S., Tyler, Tex.
Will: Where do snowmen keep their money?
Bill: Beats me.
Will: In a snow bank.
Joke submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Bill: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Laura: Why?
Bill: Because the present’s beneath them.
Joke submitted by Bill G., Davis, Calif.
Sister: What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?
Brother: A list of everything I want!
Joke submitted by Calvin L., Orlando, Fla.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Tim: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.
Joke submitted by Tim S., Merriam, Kan.
Chris: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chrissy: What?
Chris: Chill out.
Joke submitted by Christopher H., Fair Oaks, Calif.
Comic by Scott Nickel
A book never written: βJoyful Occasionsβ by Holly Daze.
Joke submitted by Matthew H., Northridge, Calif.
Josh: What does Jack Frost like best about school?
John: What?
Josh: Snow and tell.
Joke submitted by Joshua S., Lafayette, Ind.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Zoey: What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?
Johnny: I don’t know. What?
Zoey: A pineapple!
Joke submitted by Zoey Y., Flower Mound, Tex.
A book never written: βHow to Decorate a Treeβ by Orna Ment.
Joke submitted by Justin L., Galena, Ohio
Comic by Scott Nickel
Moe: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year?
Joe: I havenβt decided yet.
Moe: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The measles.
Joke submitted by Suzan L. W., Spring Hill, Fla.
Pedro: What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents and scratches up your furniture?
Ordep: Beats me. What?
Pedro: Santa Claws.
Joke submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Jacob: What do road crews use at the North Pole?
Jason: I donβt know.
Jacob: Snow cones!
Joke submitted by Ashwin B., Morris Plains, N.J.
Travis: Where do polar bears vote?
Anthony: Where?
Travis: The North Poll!
Joke submitted by Travis S., Alta Loma, Calif.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Teacher: Johnny, define claustrophobia.
Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?
Joke submitted by Ronesha M., Allen, Tex.
Santa: Knock, knock.
Elf: Whoβs there?
Santa: Olive.
Elf: Olive, who?
Santa: Olive the other reindeer.
Joke submitted by Joe R., Saint Charles, Mo.
Comic by Thomas Toons
Luke: What do elves do after school?
Jeffrey: I donβt know. What?
Luke: Their gnome work!
Joke submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.
Chance: Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?
Nate: Why?
Chance: Because he went down in history.
Joke submitted by Chance L., Larchmont, New York
Comic by Scott Nickel
Joe: What nationality is Santa Claus?
Moe: What?
Joe: North Polish.
Joke submitted by Joe B., Huntersville, N.C.
Amanda: Whatβs the difference between Santaβs reindeer and a knight?
Robert: What?
Amanda: One slays the dragon, and the otherβs dragginβ the sleigh.
Joke submitted by Amanda M., Springfield, Mo.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Wayne: How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?
Crystal: I’m stumped.
Wayne: Nothing. It was on the house!
Joke submitted by Wayne T., Xenia, Ohio
Daniel: What do ο¬sh sing during winter?
Josh: What?
Daniel: Christmas corals.
Joke submitted by Daniel L., Durham, North Carolina
Comic by Jon Carter
Darth Vader: I know what youβre getting for Christmas.
Luke: How do you know?
Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.
Joke submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.
When asked about his job, Frosty always replies, βThereβs no business like snow business.β
Joke submitted by Doug C., Gahanna, Ohio
Comic by Scott Nickel
Steve: What is a Christmas treeβs favorite candy?
Tim: Not sure.
Steve: Ornamints.
Joke submitted by Steve A., Austin, Texas
Warped Wiseman wonders: βDoes Santa Claus refer to his elves as βsubordinate clausesβ?β
Joke submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Josh: Knock, knock!
Samantha: Whoβs there?
Josh: Dexter.
Samantha: Dexter, who?
Josh: Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
Joke submitted by Josh B., Dublin, Ohio
Sam: What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?
Devin: Not sure.
Sam: Tinsel-itis!
Joke submitted by Sam J., Mona, Utah
Comic by Scott Nickel
Trey: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Brandon: I give up.
Trey: Frostbite.
Joke submitted by Trey D., Ringgold, Ga.
Josh: Why was Santaβs little helper depressed?
Mark: Dunno. Why?
Josh: Because he had low elf esteem!
Joke submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.
Pedro: What does Santa say at the start of a race?
Pee Wee: I don’t know.
Pedro: “Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Joke submitted by Pedro the Mailburro
Comic by Daryll Collins
Sam: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
Pam: Why?
Sam: Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
Joke submitted by Sam P., Merrimack, N.H.
Comic by Scott Nickel
A book never written: βWhat Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?β by Kole N. Stocking.
Joke submitted by Kole N., Amherst, N.H.
Andrew: What did the pepper say on its holiday card?
Luke: I don’t know.
Andrew: “Season’s greetings.”
Joke submitted by Andrew T., Allen, Tex.
Comic by Scott Nickel
William: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
David: What?
William: Do you smell carrots?
Joke submitted by William W., Shapleigh, Me.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Pee Wee: What did the reindeer say to the football player?
Westy: I donβt know.
Pee Wee: βYour Blitzen days are over!β
Joke submitted by Nhan P., Camp Hill, Pa.
Colton: How does a sheep say βMerry Christmasβ?
Tammi: How?
Colton: “Fleece Navidad!”
Joke submitted by Colton S., Kansas City, Kan.
Comic by Scott Nickel
DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!
Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great holiday jokes!
• Download the joke book template (PDF)
• Folding instructions
Do you know a funny Christmas joke? Click here to send it to us.
Your jokes are really good, but most of all i like the first one & the last one !!!!! “:-)) π Lol !
they were okay i mean i have seen better but some were good!
ok jokes i seen better but it really did make me laugh
Same here
wow the jokes are great
All the jokes are dull and boringξ
no they are kinda funny…….i mean they are really funny……….how could you say that they are boring.. if you say that they are boring then I would like to hear a better joke from you..
Your boring π they are funny πππππππ
These jokes are so hilarious that I laugh out loud!!!
Ho Ho Ho! No no no! Lame and cheezy!!
love the joke about the sheep at Christmas!!!! cracked us all up!!! lol good jokes everyone!
I no ur doing this in general but I loved it he he hermmmm………
Hahaha very creative LOL told my sister while eating dinner, she choked on the meatballs.
they’re funny
cheesy!!!!!
Some of these are really cute! I’m going to put one joke a day in my son’s lunch until Christmas. Thanks!