30 Funny Baseball Jokes and Comics

You’ll hit a humor home run with these funny baseball jokes sent in by Scout Life readers. Do you know a funny baseball joke? Click here to send it to us.

Isaac: How long did the baseball player spend in the library?
Vera: I’m stumped.
Isaac: Five minutes. It was a short stop.

Joke submitted by Isaac B., Grand Rapids, Ohio

A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit him.

Joke submitted by Colin H., Ellicott City, Md.

Daniel: Which baseball player loved fireplaces?
Bradley: Which one?
Daniel: Mickey Mantle.

Joke submitted by Daniel P., Ontario, Ore.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Austin: Which baseball player makes flapjacks?
Ethan: I don’t know.
Austin: The batter!

Joke submitted by Bradley K., Orlando, Fla.

Christopher: Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?
Anthony: Beats me.
Christopher: Because he was the wurst on his team.

Joke submitted by Christopher F., Bellingham, Wash.

Bob: What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
Fred: I have no idea.
Bob: A fly swatter.

Joke submitted by Jared D., Cave Creek, Ariz.
Comic by Daryll Collins

Lyle: Did you know baseball is the first sport in the Bible?
Dale: No, I didn’t.
Lyle: Yep, in Genesis it says, “In the big inning!”

Joke submitted by Lyle H., Westerville, Neb.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Ty: What do male cattle use to write?
Luke: Beats me.
Ty: Bullpens!

Joke submitted by Tyler R., Talladega, Ala.

Nathan: What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Kyle: I’m stumped.
Nathan: “Catch ya later!”

Joke submitted by Nathan R., Santa Fe, N.M.

Comic by Daryll Collins

Michael: Why are some umpires fat?
Andrew: Tell me.
Michael: They always clean their plate!

Joke submitted by Noah B., Lincoln, Neb.

Bob didn’t believe that Fred’s dog could talk. So Fred asked his dog, “What’s on top of a house?”

“Roof,” the dog barked.

Bob wasn’t convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels.

“Rough.”

He still wasn’t convinced.

“O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” Fred asked the dog.

“Ruth.”

With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: Was it Hank Aaron?”

Joke submitted by Emily S., Oswego, Ill.

Peter: What’s a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie?
Sammy: I have no idea.
Peter: The Umpire Strikes Back.

Joke submitted by Peter S., Greenwich, Conn.
Comic by Daryll Collins

Chris: Which baseball player holds water?
John: I don’t know. Which one?
Chris: The pitcher.

Joke submitted by Christopher V., River Ridge, La.

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”

Joke submitted by William E., Morganton, N.C.

Noe: Why is baseball stadium the coolest place to be?
Joe: Why?
Noe: Because it’s full of fans.

Joke submitted by Noe O., Westbury, N.Y.
Comic by Daryll Collins

Matthew: How do baseball players keep in touch?
Connor: I don’t know. How?
Matthew: They touch base every once in a while.

Joke submitted by Matthew R., Fullerton, Calif.

Eric: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
Victor: I have no idea.
Eric: A baseball team!

Joke submitted by Kaden B., Columbus, Ind.

Mike: Why was Cinderella so bad at baseball?
Matt: Why?
Mike: She had a pumpkin for a coach.

Joke submitted by Micheal R., Brewton, Ala.

Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

Joke submitted by Jon W., Stroudsburg, Pa.

A book never written: “How to Be a Better Baseball Player” by Ben Schwarmer.

Joke submitted by Steven C., Apple Valley, Minn.

Mark: What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Mike: What?
Mark: Three stripes and you’re out.

Joke submitted by Mark L., Sicklerville, N.J.

Tanner: Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?
Nancy: Why?
Tanner: She ran away from the ball.

Joke submitted by Tanner F., Kent, Wash.

Tanner: What do baseball players use to bake a cake?
Pedro: I don’t know. What?
Tanner: Oven MITTS, BUNT pans and BATTER.

Joke submitted by Tanner M., Pittsburgh, Pa.

A book never written: “The Quickest Baseball Game” by Earl E. Wynn.

Joke submitted by Alex N., Milford, N.J.

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”

Joke submitted by T.C. C., Oakdale, Tenn.

Riddler: A man leaves home, makes a left turn, makes another left, then another left turn and goes home again. When he gets home there are two men wearing masks waiting for him. Who are they?
Batman: I haven’t a clue.
Riddler: The catcher and the umpire.

Joke submitted by Jonathan L., Cary, N.C.

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is it called the World Series if only North American teams can play?”

Joke submitted by Ajay G., Allentown, Pa.

A book never written: “Pittsburgh Pirates, World Series Champions!” by Ben Waiten.

Joke submitted by Bill V., Ligonier, Pa.

Manager: Our new infielder cost $10 million. I call him our “Wonder Player.”
Fan: Why’s that?
Manager: Every time he plays, I wonder why I bothered to get him.

Joke submitted by Josh S., Pittsford, N.Y.