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30 Funny Cat Jokes and Comics

Here are 30 funny cat jokes by Scout Life readers that will make you howl with laughter. Do you know a funny cat joke? Click here to send in your joke.


Comic by Scott Nickel

Two robins stuffed themselves with worms until they were too fat to fly. Since the birds couldn’t go anywhere, they decided to just sit and soak up the sun.

Along came a cat, and it ate them.

Licking its paws, the cat said, “I just love baskin’ robins!”

Submitted by Johnny K., Broken Arrow, Okla.

Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.
Submitted by Stephen C., Salem, Va.

Adam: Who delivers presents to cats?
Jim: Who?
Adam: Santa Claws!
Submitted by Adam M., Kansas City, Mo.


Comic by Scott Nickel

Matt: Knock, knock.
Jake: Who’s there?
Matt: Kitten.
Jake: Kitten, who?
Matt: Quit kitten around and open the door!
Submitted by Joshua P., Brighton, Mich.

Caleb: What do you call a cat that bowls?
John: I don’t know.
Caleb: An alley cat!
Submitted by Caleb D.

Bob: How do you make a cat happy?
Bill: I don’t know.
Bob: Send it to the Canary Islands!
Submitted by Drew B., McMinnville, Ore.

Sterling: What’s a cat’s favorite game?
Cooper: What?
Sterling: Mouse Trap.
Submitted by Sterling P., La Jolla, Calif.

Ethan: What’s a cat’s favorite color?
John: What is it?
Ethan: Purrr-ple!
Submitted by Ethan C., Huntersville, N.C.


Comic by Scott Nickel

Gerik: Why do you have to be careful when it rains cats and dogs?
Derek: I don’t know.
Gerik: So you don’t step in a poodle!
Submitted by Gerik M., Nevada City, Calif.

Charlie: What do you call a dishonest African cat?
Thomas: I have no idea.
Charlie: A “lyin’ cub.”
Submitted by Matthew K., Ellicott City, Md.

Will: What do you get when you cross an angry cat with a famous painter?
Willow: I haven’t the foggiest.
Will: Clawed Monet!
Submitted by Willow P., Hartfield, Va.

George: What do cats say when they get hurt?
Jeff: Tell me.
George: “Me-OW!”
Submitted by George Y., San Ramon, Calif.


Comic by Scott Nickel

Nathan: Why was the cat so small?
Ethan: I have no idea.
Nathan: It ate only condensed milk!
Submitted by Nathan B., Carrollton, Ga.

Caleb: What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
Ben: Beats me.
Caleb: They both have sandy claws.
Submitted by Joshua H., Seminole, Fla.

Tony: Where do cats write down their notes?
Joannie: I dunno.
Tony: On scratch paper!
Submitted by Tony Z., Orange Park, Fla.

Matt: What do you call a very poor cat?
Kate: No idea. What?
Matt: A “paw-purr.”
Submitted by Matthew D., The Colony, Tex.


Comic by Harley Schwadron

Jeremy: What do you call a cat that gives up?
Drew: Tell me.
Jeremy: A “quitty.”
Submitted by Jeremy H., Greensboro, N.C.

Taylor: Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Jake: Tell me.
Taylor: Because of its bark!
Submitted by Taylor P., McCalla, Ala.

Dwight: What does a mouse weigh on a cat’s scale?
Dakota: I don’t know. What?
Dwight: About three pounces!
Submitted by Dwight G., York, Pa.

Daffy: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Taffi: What?
Daffy: Hailing taxis!
Submitted by Erik E., East Lansing, Mich.

Max: What do you call a kitten drinking lemonade?
Matt: I haven’t a clue.
Max: A “sourpuss.”
Submitted by Max J., Norcross, Ga.

Jake: What happened to the cat that ate the ball of yarn?
Flake: What?
Jake: It had mittens!
Submitted by Jacob V., Scappoose, Ore.


Comic by Scott Nickel

A young boy felt bad after he accidentally let the neighbor’s cat get loose. After two weeks, the missing cat seemed to be gone for good.

“I’m very sorry,” the boy told the neighbor.

“I’d like to replace it for you.”

“O.K.,” the neighbor said. “How good are you at catching mice?”
Submitted by Tyler R., Medina, Ohio

Evan: What did the cat say when the mouse got away?
Stefan: What?
Evan: “You’ve got to be kitten me!”
Submitted by Evan L., Perrysburg, Ohio.

Austin: What is a dog’s favorite car to chase?
Elyse: I don’t know. What?
Austin: A CATillac!
Submitted by Austin F., Marysville, Wash.

Zach: What’s smarter than a talking cat?
Jack: What?
Zach: A spelling bee.
Submitted by Zachary S., Lexington, Ky.

A book never written: “A Guide to Better Cat Care” by Claude Badly.
Submitted by Ryan W., York Springs, Pa.

Devan: Why did the spotted cat get disqualified from the race?
Evan: Why?
Devan: It was a cheetah.
Submitted by Devan T., Shawnee, Kan.

Michael: What do you call a swimming feline?
Pat: I don’t know.
Michael: A “catfish.”
Submitted by Michael L., Stockton, Calif.

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”
Submitted by William E., Morganton, N.C.

11 Comments on 30 Funny Cat Jokes and Comics

  1. So funny😂

  2. Why do cats always get their way? They are very purr-suasive!

  3. Some not quite as funny but others super funny! #lovecats

  4. I need an answer for this riddle. “Why did the cat eat peanut butter?”

  5. Some very funny ones.

  6. the best thing in the world.

  7. NEEDMORECATS!!!!!!!!!!!! // February 14, 2019 at 8:22 am // Reply

    Oh no! Too many cat puns! I’M GOING TO EXPLODE! These are awesome.

  8. What’s smarter than a talking cat? Well, nothing., At least that’s what the cat said.

  9. Venus cat🐱🐈 // July 20, 2018 at 4:53 pm // Reply

    I like it k keep it up but do comics as a separate part😸👏

  10. David: What do you get when you mix a cheetah with a tiger?
    Tom: I haven’t the slightest . . .
    David: A cheeter!!

  11. Deven: what is smarter then a cat.
    bob: i do not know.
    deven: nothing, a least that is what my cat told me.

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