Laugh at 30 Funny Fourth of July Jokes

Light the funny fuse on your Independence Day celebration with these hilarious Fourth of July jokes from Scout Life readers. Whether you’re grilling burgers, watching fireworks or enjoying quality time with family and friends, these witty one-liners, clever puns and hilarious comics are a perfect way to celebrate the Fourth!

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Comic by Daryll Collins

Justin: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Gerald: Why?
Justin: Because she can’t sit down.

Joke by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.

George: Knock, knock.
Kent: Who’s there?
George: Sadie.
Kent: Sadie, who?
George: Sadie Pledge of Allegiance — it’s the Fourth of July!

Joke by Kent A., Lakewood, Ohio

Alex: Where did our first president keep his mice?
Will: Tell me.
Alex: Mount Vermin!

Joke by Joshua R., Birmingham, Ala.

Comic by Scott A. Masear

Tom Swiftie: “Don’t light those fireworks!” Tom exploded.

Joke by Jeffrey D., Lansing, Mich.

Johnny: Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Josh: No.
Johnny: Yes, it does. It comes right after the 3rd of July.

Joke by Jude P. D., Rayne, La.

Joe: My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.
Moe: Is he all right now?
Joe: I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.

Submitted by Joshua G., Corvallis, Mont.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Nathaniel: What did the parrot say on Independence Day?
Gabriel: Tell me.
Nathaniel: “Polly want a firecracker!”

Joke by Nathaniel H., Arvada, Colo.

Teacher: What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?
Johnny: “Get in the boat, men!”

Joke by Jon M., Central Point, Ore.

A book never written: “American Victories” by Norman D. Beech.

Joke by Ben H., Ontario, N.Y.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Tom Swifty: “I live in America,” Tom stated.

Joke submitted by Evi Vander Z., Pewee Valley, Ky.

Harry: What do you call an American drawing?
John: What?
Harry: Yankee doodle!

Joke by Aubrey T., Jackson, Miss.

Alvin: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.
Alex: Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?

Joke by Alex I., Exeter, R.I.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Teacher: More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.
Caleb: Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!

Joke by Caleb B., Borfield, Ill.

Pedro: What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?
Ordep: I don’t know. What?
Pedro: Chicken Catch-a-Tory!

Joke by Greg B., Corning, N.Y.

Beth: What did one flag say to the other flag?
Eric: Nothing. It just waved!

Joke by Wyatt P., Sumerduck, Va.

Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Joke by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.
Comic by Daryll Collins

Ben: How come there’s no knock-knock joke about America?
John: No idea.
Ben: Because freedom rings.

Joke submitted by Ben G., Bethlehem, Penn.

Robert: What’s red, white and blue?
Bradley: Our flag, of course.
Robert: And a sad candy cane!

Joke by Robert D., Rowlett, Tex.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Luke: What do you get when you cross Captain America and The Incredible Hulk?
Dad: What?
Luke: Star-Spangled Banner.

Joke submitted by Luke M., Edison, N.J.

A book never written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.

Joke by Micheal R., Brewton, Ala.

Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?
Johnny: “Play ball”?

Joke by Nate C., Ipswich, Mass.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Robert: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
John: I don’t know.
Robert: Tea-shirts.

Joke by John D., Richmond, Va.

A book never written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks.

Joke by Leonard C., San Diego, Calif.

Patrick: What do you call our 16th president, waiting to turn left at a red light?
Hugh: I have no clue.
Patrick: Abe Blinkin.

Joke by Patrick D., Madison, Wis.