Laugh at 30 Funny Fourth of July Jokes
Light the funny fuse on your Independence Day celebration with these hilarious Fourth of July jokes from Scout Life readers. Whether you’re grilling burgers, watching fireworks or enjoying quality time with family and friends, these witty one-liners, clever puns and hilarious comics are a perfect way to celebrate the Fourth!
Do you know a funny Fourth of July joke? Click here to send it to us.
Comic by Daryll Collins
Justin: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Gerald: Why?
Justin: Because she canāt sit down.
Joke by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.
George: Knock, knock.
Kent: Who’s there?
George: Sadie.
Kent: Sadie, who?
George: Sadie Pledge of Allegiance — itās the Fourth of July!
Joke by Kent A., Lakewood, Ohio
Alex: Where did our first president keep his mice?
Will: Tell me.
Alex: Mount Vermin!
Joke by Joshua R., Birmingham, Ala.
Comic by Scott A. Masear
Tom Swiftie: āDonāt light those fireworks!ā Tom exploded.
Joke by Jeffrey D., Lansing, Mich.
Johnny: Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Josh: No.
Johnny: Yes, it does. It comes right after the 3rd of July.
Joke by Jude P. D., Rayne, La.
Joe: My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.
Moe: Is he all right now?
Joe: I donāt know. I havenāt heard the last report.
Submitted by Joshua G., Corvallis, Mont.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Nathaniel: What did the parrot say on Independence Day?
Gabriel: Tell me.
Nathaniel: āPolly want a firecracker!ā
Joke by Nathaniel H., Arvada, Colo.
Teacher: What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?
Johnny: āGet in the boat, men!ā
Joke by Jon M., Central Point, Ore.
A book never written: āAmerican Victoriesā by Norman D. Beech.
Joke by Ben H., Ontario, N.Y.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Tom Swifty: āI live in America,ā Tom stated.
Joke submitted by Evi Vander Z., Pewee Valley, Ky.
Harry: What do you call an American drawing?
John: What?
Harry: Yankee doodle!
Joke by Aubrey T., Jackson, Miss.
Alvin: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.
Alex: Your relatives couldnāt get along with anyone, could they?
Joke by Alex I., Exeter, R.I.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Teacher: More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.
Caleb: Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!
Joke by Caleb B., Borfield, Ill.
Pedro: What was the patriotsā favorite food in the Revolutionary War?
Ordep: I donāt know. What?
Pedro: Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
Joke by Greg B., Corning, N.Y.
Beth: What did one flag say to the other flag?
Eric: Nothing. It just waved!
Joke by Wyatt P., Sumerduck, Va.
Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, maāam. At the bottom.
Joke by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.
Comic by Daryll Collins
Ben: How come thereās no knock-knock joke about America?
John: No idea.
Ben: BecauseĀ freedom rings.
Joke submitted by Ben G., Bethlehem, Penn.
Robert: Whatās red, white and blue?
Bradley: Our flag, of course.
Robert: And a sad candy cane!
Joke by Robert D., Rowlett, Tex.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Luke: What do you get whenĀ you cross Captain America andĀ The Incredible Hulk?
Dad: What?
Luke: Star-Spangled Banner.
Joke submitted by Luke M., Edison, N.J.
A book never written: āThe Parts of the National Anthemā by Homer D. Brave.
Joke by Micheal R., Brewton, Ala.
Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of āThe Star-Spangled Bannerā?
Johnny: āPlay ballā?
Joke by Nate C., Ipswich, Mass.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Robert: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
John: I donāt know.
Robert: Tea-shirts.
Joke by John D., Richmond, Va.
A book never written: āHow to Become Presidentā by Paul OāTicks.
Joke by Leonard C., San Diego, Calif.
Patrick: What do you call our 16th president, waiting to turn left at a red light?
Hugh: I have no clue.
Patrick: Abe Blinkin.
Joke by Patrick D., Madison, Wis.
VERY,VERY funny
funny! happy fourth of july!
funniest jokes I ever read!
Very Funny!! WEEEEE DOGGIE
Veeeryy..funnny
FUNNY HAHAHAHA
cool
I agree
I liked the tea party one, Europes Fourth of July, and the Statue of Liberty.
Most are funny hahaha!
funny