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Laugh at 30 Funny Fourth of July Jokes

Light the funny fuse on your Independence Day celebration with these hilarious Fourth of July jokes from Scout Life readers. Whether you’re grilling burgers, watching fireworks or enjoying quality time with family and friends, these witty one-liners, clever puns and hilarious comics are a perfect way to celebrate the Fourth!

Do you know a funny Fourth of July joke? Click here to send it to us.

Comic by Daryll Collins

Justin: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Gerald: Why?
Justin: Because she can’t sit down.

Joke by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.

George: Knock, knock.
Kent: Who’s there?
George: Sadie.
Kent: Sadie, who?
George: Sadie Pledge of Allegiance — it’s the Fourth of July!

Joke by Kent A., Lakewood, Ohio

Alex: Where did our first president keep his mice?
Will: Tell me.
Alex: Mount Vermin!

Joke by Joshua R., Birmingham, Ala.

Comic by Scott A. Masear

Tom Swiftie: “Don’t light those fireworks!” Tom exploded.

Joke by Jeffrey D., Lansing, Mich.

Johnny: Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Josh: No.
Johnny: Yes, it does. It comes right after the 3rd of July.

Joke by Jude P. D., Rayne, La.

Joe: My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.
Moe: Is he all right now?
Joe: I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.

Submitted by Joshua G., Corvallis, Mont.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Nathaniel: What did the parrot say on Independence Day?
Gabriel: Tell me.
Nathaniel: “Polly want a firecracker!”

Joke by Nathaniel H., Arvada, Colo.

Teacher: What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?
Johnny: “Get in the boat, men!”

Joke by Jon M., Central Point, Ore.

A book never written: “American Victories” by Norman D. Beech.

Joke by Ben H., Ontario, N.Y.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Tom Swifty: “I live in America,” Tom stated.

Joke submitted by Evi Vander Z., Pewee Valley, Ky.

Harry: What do you call an American drawing?
John: What?
Harry: Yankee doodle!

Joke by Aubrey T., Jackson, Miss.

Alvin: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.
Alex: Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?

Joke by Alex I., Exeter, R.I.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Teacher: More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.
Caleb: Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!

Joke by Caleb B., Borfield, Ill.

Pedro: What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?
Ordep: I don’t know. What?
Pedro: Chicken Catch-a-Tory!

Joke by Greg B., Corning, N.Y.

Beth: What did one flag say to the other flag?
Eric: Nothing. It just waved!

Joke by Wyatt P., Sumerduck, Va.

Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Joke by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.
Comic by Daryll Collins

Ben: How come there’s no knock-knock joke about America?
John: No idea.
Ben: Because freedom rings.

Joke submitted by Ben G., Bethlehem, Penn.

Robert: What’s red, white and blue?
Bradley: Our flag, of course.
Robert: And a sad candy cane!

Joke by Robert D., Rowlett, Tex.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Luke: What do you get when you cross Captain America and The Incredible Hulk?
Dad: What?
Luke: Star-Spangled Banner.

Joke submitted by Luke M., Edison, N.J.

A book never written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.

Joke by Micheal R., Brewton, Ala.

Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?
Johnny: “Play ball”?

Joke by Nate C., Ipswich, Mass.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Robert: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
John: I don’t know.
Robert: Tea-shirts.

Joke by John D., Richmond, Va.

A book never written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks.

Joke by Leonard C., San Diego, Calif.

Patrick: What do you call our 16th president, waiting to turn left at a red light?
Hugh: I have no clue.
Patrick: Abe Blinkin.

Joke by Patrick D., Madison, Wis.

56 Comments on Laugh at 30 Funny Fourth of July Jokes

  1. ScoutSister // June 29, 2019 at 5:40 pm // Reply

    I am very punny

  2. ScoutSister // June 29, 2019 at 5:39 pm // Reply

    Q: Why shouldn’t there be knock-knock jokes on the 4th of July?
    A: Because freedom rings.

  3. Anonymous // July 2, 2018 at 6:08 pm // Reply

    What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker? My pop is bigger than your pop!

  4. ElephantLover // June 19, 2018 at 8:37 am // Reply

    I really love the declaration 1

  5. I like the declaration of independence won

  6. Crazy cat lady // June 28, 2017 at 2:45 pm // Reply

    I like the one about chicken catch-a-tory.

  7. CooL!!!!!!!!

  8. 😛😛LOL

  9. beast bean // June 24, 2016 at 5:35 pm // Reply

    I loved the joke that said, “does europe have a fourth of july?” “no” “yes, it comes right after the third of july”

  10. j runner 10 // June 24, 2016 at 10:11 am // Reply

    must have more

    • Need To Get To Eagle!! // July 3, 2016 at 9:19 pm // Reply

      Yea, it’s supposed to be “Does England have a 4th of July,” because we fought them, not all of Europe.

  11. 😀COOL

  12. TheEgyptianNaturalized // June 21, 2016 at 7:36 am // Reply

    most of these were really corny but still funny

  13. I don’t get the boat one

  14. I love these jokes

  15. wolf cub scout // July 4, 2015 at 9:27 pm // Reply


  16. cool

  17. I think there’s only 1 funny joke the 18th

  18. Funny most some corny. Mostly humorous

  19. How do I post a joke

  20. it’s hard do not get those jokes! There are some very funny ones but not all!


  22. i lke the lst one the bst

  23. i have seen most elsewhere…

  24. Lol

  25. awesome

  26. weird

  27. sillypig6000 // July 10, 2014 at 4:01 pm // Reply


  28. I didn’t get none of these “Jokes” some sounded like actual historical fact

  29. some are funny some are not.

  30. KingJudoKittyCat // July 3, 2014 at 11:28 am // Reply

    Awesome Jokes!

  31. Quiz-wizz // July 1, 2014 at 3:44 pm // Reply

    I told the sad candy cane 1 to my Grandma.

  32. Hilarious! Hahaha!

  33. HikingBrainiack // June 25, 2014 at 9:06 am // Reply


  34. Redpuffleguy // June 23, 2014 at 7:34 pm // Reply

    I don’t get it.

  35. awesome

  36. I love them

  37. chicken eater // October 17, 2013 at 4:18 pm // Reply

    I dont get the jokes.

  38. hahaha

  39. I loved it

  40. funniest jokes I ever read!

  41. 1234567890 // July 6, 2013 at 9:15 pm // Reply

    VERY,VERY funny

  42. hippie man // July 4, 2013 at 3:38 pm // Reply

    funny! happy fourth of july!

  43. funniest jokes I ever read!

  44. Very Funny!! WEEEEE DOGGIE

  45. Veeeryy..funnny


  47. lolololololololol // August 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm // Reply


  48. I liked the tea party one, Europes Fourth of July, and the Statue of Liberty.

  49. The Rocket // July 3, 2012 at 7:22 am // Reply

    Most are funny hahaha!

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