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10 Funny Pirate Jokes

Your mateys will yo ho ho with these funny pirate jokes sent in by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny joke? Click here to send it to us.


Pat: What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
Jerry: I don’t know. What?
Pat: A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

Submitted by Patricia J., Warrens, Wis.

A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg and asked, “How did you get that?”

The pirate said, “Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How did you get that?”

The pirate said: “Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s eye patch and asked, “How did you get that?”

The pirate said, “Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.”

The sailor said, “That’s not as impressive as the other two. …”

“Aye,” the pirate answered. “It was me first day with the hook.”

Submitted by Gregory W., Newark, N.Y.

Tyler: How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
Ryan: A buccaneer.

Submitted by Tyler S., Pleasant Grove, Utah

A book never written: “Pirate Gold” by Barry D. Treasure.

Submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.

Jim: Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
Bo: I haven’t a clue.
Jim: Because they spend years at “C”!

Submitted by Sailesh K., Bernardsville, N.J.

A book never written: Pirate Treasure” by Barry Moore.

Submitted by Caleb C., Hermitage, Tenn.

Max: What did one pirate say to the other?
Ben: What?
Max: “I sea you!”

Submitted by Maximillian M., Amery, Wis.

Robert: Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?
Patrick: Beats me.
Robert: Because the captain was standing on the deck!

Submitted by Patrick D., San Francisco, Calif.

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eyepatch running around and waving his arms wildly.

“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”

“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

Submitted by Kyoji M., Cheswick, Pa.

24 Comments on 10 Funny Pirate Jokes

  1. It’s 2023 can we get some new Pirate jokes? There my favorite!

  2. what do you call a ship at the bottom of the sea?

    Answer: A nervous wreck

  3. put some jokes on for once

  4. arrrrrrrgos // May 19, 2020 at 4:03 am // Reply

    it was so funny haha

  5. TheJokeMaster // January 31, 2020 at 6:42 pm // Reply

    Eddie why can’t kids see pirate movies?
    Jack Why?
    Eddie because they were rather Agrrrr

  6. deadman'schest // October 9, 2019 at 9:42 pm // Reply

    how do you address a pirate with one eye?…


  7. your real name // September 24, 2019 at 8:16 pm // Reply

    what did the pirate say when he turned 80? “aye-matey”

  8. “Funny Joke!!” -joke yoda

  9. It’s not a funny joke if it has to be explained. Lol

  10. How could someone NOT get the hook pun?

  11. What super heroes are the best at finding treasure? The X men

  12. I think it was halareos

  13. frjrrbdhdrhrh // January 21, 2014 at 12:51 pm // Reply

    Yeah I like all the jokes HaHa!!!!!!

  14. I don’t get the eyepatch and hook one

  15. Minecraft boy // September 29, 2013 at 1:47 pm // Reply


  16. very cool

  17. thats funny

  18. Good jokes!

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