Funny Fourth of July Jokes and Comics

Light the funny fuse on your Independence Day celebration with these hilarious Fourth of July jokes from Scout Life readers. Do you know a funny Fourth of July joke? Click here to send it to us.

Comic by Daryll Collins

Justin: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Gerald: Why?
Justin: Because she can’t sit down.

Joke by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.

George: Knock, knock.
Kent: Who’s there?
George: Sadie.
Kent: Sadie, who?
George: Sadie Pledge of Allegiance — it’s the Fourth of July!

Joke by Kent A., Lakewood, Ohio

Alex: Where did our first president keep his mice?
Will: Tell me.
Alex: Mount Vermin!

Joke by Joshua R., Birmingham, Ala.

Comic by Scott A. Masear

Tom Swiftie: “Don’t light those fireworks!” Tom exploded.

Joke by Jeffrey D., Lansing, Mich.

Johnny: Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Josh: No.
Johnny: Yes, it does. It comes right after the 3rd of July.

Joke by Jude P. D., Rayne, La.

Joe: My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.
Moe: Is he all right now?
Joe: I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.

Submitted by Joshua G., Corvallis, Mont.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Teacher: What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?
Johnny: “Get in the boat, men!”

Joke by Jon M., Central Point, Ore.

A book never written: “American Victories” by Norman D. Beech.

Joke by Ben H., Ontario, N.Y.

Harry: What do you call an American drawing?
John: What?
Harry: Yankee doodle!

Joke by Aubrey T., Jackson, Miss.

Alvin: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.
Alex: Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?

Joke by Alex I., Exeter, R.I.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Teacher: More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.
Caleb: Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!

Joke by Caleb B., Borfield, Ill.

Pedro: What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?
Ordep: I don’t know. What?
Pedro: Chicken Catch-a-Tory!

Joke by Greg B., Corning, N.Y.

Beth: What did one flag say to the other flag?
Eric: Nothing. It just waved!

Joke by Wyatt P., Sumerduck, Va.

Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Joke by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.
Comic by Daryll Collins

Robert: What’s red, white and blue?
Bradley: Our flag, of course.
Robert: And a sad candy cane!

Joke by Robert D., Rowlett, Tex.

A book never written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.

Joke by Micheal R., Brewton, Ala.

Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?
Johnny: “Play ball”?

Joke by Nate C., Ipswich, Mass.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Robert: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
John: I don’t know.
Robert: Tea-shirts.

Joke by John D., Richmond, Va.

A book never written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks.

Joke by Leonard C., San Diego, Calif.

Patrick: What do you call our 16th president, waiting to turn left at a red light?
Hugh: I have no clue.
Patrick: Abe Blinkin.

Joke by Patrick D., Madison, Wis.