50 Funny Back-To-School Jokes

Summer vacation is over, and that’s no laughing matter. But you can go back to the classroom with a smile on your face, thanks to these funny school jokes sent in by Scout Life readers.

Do you know some funny school jokes? Click here to send them to us. You can also laugh at more than 5,000 jokes.

Need study tips or ideas for packing your lunch? Visit our guide for going back to school.

Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

“Not enough,” Luke replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Joke submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

Dad: May I see your report card?
Son: I don’t have it.
Dad: Why not?
Son: I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents.

Submitted by Ryan M., Norristown, Penn.

Comic by Scott Nickel

James: Why was the computer late for school?
Peter: I’m not sure.
James: He had a hard drive.

Submitted by James W., Laurel, Md.

Christian: What is Harry Potter’s favorite school subject?
Haley: Defense against the dark arts?
Christian: No, it’s spelling.

Submitted by Christian P., Vista, Calif.

Comic by Scott A. Masear

Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!

Submitted by Nathaniel R., Glendale, Wis.

A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.

Submitted by Ian B., Howell, N.J.

Comic by Scott Nickel

David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!

Submitted by David L., Hicksville, N.Y.

A man dug a tunnel out of jail and came up on a preschool playground.

“I’m free! I’m free!” he yelled.

“Big deal,” said a little boy. “I’m 4.”

Submitted by Evan S., Farmington Hills, Mich.

Comic by Scott Nickel

A Punny Book: “Walking to School” by Misty Buss.

Submitted by Preston P., Chattanooga, Tenn.

Devom: What animal doesn’t deserve straight A’s in school?
Shawn: I don’t know.
Devom: A cheetah!

Submitted by Devom B., Eastvale, California

Comic by Scott Nickel

Carter: What do Santa’s elves do in school?
Miley: What?
Carter: Presentations!

Submitted by Carter A., Waterloo, Ill.

Felix: What kind of candy do you find at a school?
Max: I don’t know. What kind?
Felix: Nerds and Smarties.

Submitted by Felix D., Van Nuys, Calif.

Comic by ThomasToons

Nate: A teacher caught a student passing notes in class, but the student didn’t get in trouble.
Caleb: Why not?
Nate: It was music class.

Submitted by Nathaniel C., Manhattan, Kan.

Peter: How did the cheese get hurt at school?
Lily: Not sure. How?
Peter: It was grated too hard.

Submitted by Peter E., Duvall, Wash.

Comic by Pat Lewis

Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

Submitted by Chad N., Firestone, Colo.

Comic by Pat Lewis

Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!

Submitted by Jacob B., South Bend, Ind.

A book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss.

Submitted by Josh A., Los Angeles, Calif.

Comic by Harley Schwadron

A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.

Submitted by Alex M., Ashland, Mass.

Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.

Submitted by Connor B., Metairie, La.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.

Submitted by Brian C., Snohomish, Wash.

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Submitted by Kyle S., Chesapeake, Va.

Comic by Scott Masear

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Submitted by Zachary D. G., Rutherford, N.J.

Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?
Josh: Beats me.
Hunter: Pop quizzes!

Submitted by Sean G., Kailua, Hawaii

Comic by Bob Vojtko

What kind of school do you go to if you’re…
…an ice cream man? Sundae school.
…a giant? High school.
…a surfer? Boarding school.
…King Arthur? Knight school.

School jokes submitted by Ryan K., North Platte, Neb.

Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!

Submitted by Adam P., Wichita, Kan.

Comic by Scott Masear

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Submitted by Caleb R., Jackson, Mich.

Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!

Submitted by Martin R., Belmont, Mass.

Comic by ThomasToons

Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
Cheryl: I don’t know.
Phil: He has only one pupil.

Submitted by Colin C., Kansas City, Mo.

Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!

Submitted by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.

Submitted by Harry B., Longmeadow, Mass.

Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Johnny: In jail!

Submitted by Glenn J., Santa Ana, Calif.

Comic by Van Scott

Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Submitted by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.

Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.

Submitted by Jordan R., Nashville, Tenn.

Comic by Scott Masear

Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ted: What?
Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Submitted by Ted S., Lisle, Ill.

Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

Submitted by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.

Comic by Scott Masear

Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
Student: I don’t know. Why?
Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!

Submitted by Caleb S., Mount Vernon, Mo.

Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Submitted by Alex D., Chevy Chase, Md.

Comic by Scott Masear

John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

School joke submitted by John S., Farmington, Ga.

Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe?
Joe: Because I don’t have a dog.

Submitted by Austin C., Bowie, Md.

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