25 Funny Mother’s Day Jokes
Make your mom laugh out loud with these funny Mother’s Day jokes. Hint: They’d be great inside that homemade card that you’re not going to forget to make for your mom.
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Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great Mother’s Day jokes!
• Download the joke book (PDF)
• Folding instructions
Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.
Joke submitted by Stephen C., Salem, Va.
Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes, son.Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!
Joke submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.
Joke submitted by Christopher W., Gladwyne, Pa.
Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
Joke submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.
Comic by Scott Nickel
A book never written: “Mom Cars” by Minnie Vann.
Joke submitted by Jakob S., Olathe, Kan.
Kendon: Why was the mother firefly so happy?
Bryan: Why?
Kendon: Because her children were all so bright.
Joke submitted by Kendon L., Elk Grove, Calif.
Comic by Scott Masear
Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.
Joke submitted by Matthew W. , San Antonio, Tex.
Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.
Dan: How do you know?
Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.
Joke submitted by Doug D., Wellington, Fla.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Ryan: Why did you chop the joke book in half?
John: Mom said to cut the comedy.
Joke submitted by John C., Granbury, Tex.
Erin: What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?
Fran: What?
Erin: “We’re gonna have a BB!”
Joke submitted by Erin K., Tallahassee, Fla.
Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Joke submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.
A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.
“How do you know?” the boy asks.
The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”
Joke submitted by Niles L., Acton, Mass.
Elephant: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Hippo: I give up.
Elephant: Because their kids have to play inside!
Joke submitted by Jake P., Omaha, Neb.
Matthew: What did the mother rope say to her child?
Jim: What?
Matthew: “Don’t be knotty.”
Joke submitted by Matthew C., DeRidder, La.
Daffynition: Minimum—A small mother.
Joke submitted by Matthew St., St. James, Mo.
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them.
The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away.
“See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”
Joke submitted by William E., Morganton, N.C.
Jack: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Bill: What?
Jack: It’s time to go to sweep!
Joke submitted by Matt S. N., Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!
Joke submitted by Jake T., Worcester, Mass.
Robbie: Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name?
Bobbie: East?
Robbie: No. Larry.
Joke submitted by Robbie B., Quarryville, Pa.
Daffynition: Sweater—something you wear when your mother gets cold.
Joke submitted by Danny L., San Marcos, Calif.
Pee Wee: What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Westy: What?
Pee Wee: “Look, Ma! No hands!”
Joke submitted by Jairo S., Bakersfield, Calif.
Ben: How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?
Jerry: I dunno.
Ben: It was way past its threadtime!
Joke submitted by Rich P., Round Rock, Tex.
DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!
Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great Mother’s Day jokes!
• Download the joke book (PDF)
• Folding instructions
So funny can’t stop laughing
Thanks for the Mother’s Day gawfaws.
Happy Mother’s Day to you or yours.
Really funny, lol
They where funny, and I liked them
lol
Funny
Those jokes were hilarious
Cool Jokes!
… yay.. haha… hilarious. ._.
Pretty funny!!😂😂
that is funny
Good comedy
They were okay😐
the jokes are good
Laughed out loud at some of the more “punny” Ones!
Superb
LAWL I like the first one :- D
these are AWESOME and hilarious!!!
hi im doing this in class right now its 11:12 on may 7 2014
hahahahaha
they where really funny
cool
my mom will love these 🙂
Like . Can’t wait to share with my grandsons
lol
these are really funny.
The one I was really laughing at was the one when the mom said to her son, ” I’m warning you. If you climb up on that tree and break your legs, don’t come running to me!” XD
funny jokes
i liked the jokes my favorite part was the pack of cookies and elephants but some of them did make me laugh a little
I have to tell my some of these LOL
brilliant jokes i like dad do you know the
difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants
NO
then it’s a good thing mum does the food shopping
lol I loved them all. giggled at a few lol
I loved them
LOL
It was funny made me laugh
i love the one of the mother mouse telling why its important to learn other lauguages…..LOL
Me too! It’s hilarious!
My mom cracked up
Loved them! perfect for a good cheery mood!
I LOVE this jokes me and my mom loved them so……….…funny
This stuff is really funny.
So funny haha
So funny haha
😂😂😂IM DYING 😂😂😂
very funny
My mom loved it!
My mom laughed
i enjoyed .jst cant wait 2 tell my mother .
Awesome jokes! I used them for a show and they are a big hit! Thank You!
SUperfunny
So funny
awsome
how funny
I love the great Mother’s Day jokes! I’m definitely going to put at least one of them in my card for my mom!
I loved the one about Johny’s mom being a good cook.
bro awsome jokes man