25 Funny Mother’s Day Jokes
Make your mom laugh out loud with these funny Mother’s Day jokes. Hint: They’d be great inside that homemade card that you’re not going to forget to make for your mom.
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DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!
Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great Mother’s Day jokes!
• Download the joke book (PDF)
• Folding instructions
Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.
Joke submitted by Stephen C., Salem, Va.
Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes, son.Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!
Joke submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Chris: Why is a computer so smart?
Mom: It listens to its motherboard.
Joke submitted by Christopher W., Gladwyne, Pa.
Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
Joke submitted by Steven F. II, Naperville, Ill.
Comic by Scott Nickel
A book never written: “Mom Cars” by Minnie Vann.
Joke submitted by Jakob S., Olathe, Kan.
Kendon: Why was the mother firefly so happy?
Bryan: Why?
Kendon: Because her children were all so bright.
Joke submitted by Kendon L., Elk Grove, Calif.
Comic by Scott Masear
Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.
Joke submitted by Matthew W. , San Antonio, Tex.
Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.
Dan: How do you know?
Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.
Joke submitted by Doug D., Wellington, Fla.
Comic by Scott Nickel
Ryan: Why did you chop the joke book in half?
John: Mom said to cut the comedy.
Joke submitted by John C., Granbury, Tex.
Erin: What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?
Fran: What?
Erin: “We’re gonna have a BB!”
Joke submitted by Erin K., Tallahassee, Fla.
Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Joke submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.
A mother is trying to get her son to eat carrots. “Carrots are good for your eyes,” she says.
“How do you know?” the boy asks.
The mother replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”
Joke submitted by Niles L., Acton, Mass.
Elephant: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Hippo: I give up.
Elephant: Because their kids have to play inside!
Joke submitted by Jake P., Omaha, Neb.
Matthew: What did the mother rope say to her child?
Jim: What?
Matthew: “Don’t be knotty.”
Joke submitted by Matthew C., DeRidder, La.
Daffynition: Minimum—A small mother.
Joke submitted by Matthew St., St. James, Mo.
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them.
The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away.
“See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”
Joke submitted by William E., Morganton, N.C.
Jack: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Bill: What?
Jack: It’s time to go to sweep!
Joke submitted by Matt S. N., Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!
Joke submitted by Jake T., Worcester, Mass.
Robbie: Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name?
Bobbie: East?
Robbie: No. Larry.
Joke submitted by Robbie B., Quarryville, Pa.
Daffynition: Sweater—something you wear when your mother gets cold.
Joke submitted by Danny L., San Marcos, Calif.
Pee Wee: What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Westy: What?
Pee Wee: “Look, Ma! No hands!”
Joke submitted by Jairo S., Bakersfield, Calif.
Ben: How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?
Jerry: I dunno.
Ben: It was way past its threadtime!
Joke submitted by Rich P., Round Rock, Tex.
DOWNLOAD A FREE POCKET JOKE BOOK!
Print and fold your own pocket joke book, filled with great Mother’s Day jokes!
• Download the joke book (PDF)
• Folding instructions
These jokes did not make me think mothers day, and they confused me a lot. I don’t like to complain about little things, but these jokes were not to good.
cool
We laughed about the rabbit wearing glasses one and liked the one, “look ma no hands”.
Give us a break. I enjoyed them all, especially the one about Larry and his 3 brothers.
Thumbs Up all the way!
Mom: most of them were pretty clever
Me: Uhhhhhhhhhh
Some are funny. Some I don’t get. And I don’t understand how they’re Mother’s Day jokes.
same
Ha
This made my mom not really laugh but it kind of did
Snakes are venomous not poisonous.
I Agrie
LOL!
I used one of your jokes in a mother’s d card
Good jokes
understood every joke very funny LOL 🙂
Some were funny but most weren’t
Meh
Lol love these jokes. They always cheer me up when I’m sad
None of my sisters laughed at them. But I thought some of them were funny 😆
Loved every one, maybe because its stars wars day.
some are funny but i couldnot understood some
i love the forigen lanuage one LOL UU
same
Aww
so funny
These are super funny especially the kangaroo one it mad me cry by laughing 1 hour later and I was still crying lol.
So funny!
Funny jokes
These are funny!
Thanks for making me smile. I needed a smile today.
I like the snake joke
Those are pretty good. LOVE them. And my mom.
Me to!Ahhhhh!
i agree some are funny
Lol
funny
I like the first one
I liked #5
It was funny
Only one of them actually made me smile.. O.O
Cheesy
Hahahahaha!
🙂 🙂
yup that is great 🙂
lol nice
like it
nice
real cheesy! 🙂
Its kinda funny
I love my mom
very funny jokes i love it
OMG my mom was cracking up!Say,the first 1 didn’t make sense,PLZ remove that.
love the jokes,very funny
yes, it does, because then the cat and dog will fight and wake up her son!
verry verry funny ha ha ha ha
not much funny
the jokes were pretty good!
They were funny but some were not
It is funny but short
I need to do that